Monday – How to be de-motivated in one easy step

Morning came around with its usual regularity. As Sunday was a quiet, relaxing day I was feeling all energised, and raring to go this week. It's only one more week, before I get to be let loose onto the unsuspecting Australian public.

On the way to work (No hair-raising near misses today – I told you things were good) I did actually treat myself to Muzz Buzz. (Drive thru coffee has got to be a money making opportunity in the U.K.) I have had to cut back on the amount of coffee I buy, because of all the free coffee breaks during class.

I hadn't checked the daily schedule to see what we were up to day, so I hadn't got a clue what we were about to walk into. First thing was to get the driving course for Tuesday, Wednesday, and Thursday organised.

It went along the lines of "We need two groups, one of 9 and the other of 5. Then you'll all need to meet in Malaga (not Spain and it is said like Me-lager) at the driving school. (Simple so far) But not all of you can go straight to the driving school, because three people need to meet at Training School to bring some Ambulances. (Are you keeping up) Then the group of 5 will go home early on Tuesday, and then come to Training School on Wednesday, and Driving School on Thursday and the group of 9 will stay all day on Tuesday, and all day Wednesday at Driving School, and then Training School on Thursday. (Confused yet?)" There were a few more instructions, and then a lot of questions before lots were drawn for who was in which group. I ended up in the group of 5, so I'll be looking forward to a ½ day Tuesday.

I can here you ask "Why not make the two groups 7 each?" That is a very good question, and if I do find the answer, I'll let you know.

I'm sure that I don't need to tell you what came next....You guessed it coffee time (This was only a short break, as the PowerPoint projector had packed up, and we were waiting for I.T. Department to pop in with a replacement.) When we re-entered the classroom, we were greeted with the sight of some very important people. (I could tell they were important because 1 – they were wearing ties (it's far too hot for that sort of clothing), and 2 – their picture is in the front of our manuals) It was the chief of the Ambulance Service – with a presentation for us, and a welcome talk by his number two man.

The presentation involved a lot of business jargon all about bottom line, cost effectiveness, staff motivation, business plans, projected earnings (St. John's Ambulance is a private business here, so we have customers, not patients). I didn't catch the vision, so to speak.

The rest of the morning was taken up with presentations, and seminars on all manner of business matters. Not my bag, but I'm sure it was interesting to people who enjoy that sort of thing. Lunch time – hooray – then practical sessions on loading and unloading ambulances, and using some equipment that won't be used much. There were a few coffee breaks (3) and a lot of hanging around, until 3 p.m. when we all made excuses and left.

On the way home, I saw a fish mongers, and out of curiosity I went in to have a look around. The different types of seafood were staggering, and all very cheap. I'll be taking prawns (or are the crayfish, who knows) to the next BBQ (I think planned for Wednesday night).

As I did some study late into the evening, I did think about all the customer care, charging for ambulances, etc, and realised that people still get sick the same way, and their body still works the same way, whether the treatment is free or not. Not very motivated by the Chief though.