Monday – What is a group of Ambos called?

Funny isn't it what a group of things are called? Have you ever wondered why? Let me give you a couple that I think are really off the wall. Why is it called a murder of crows, when most other birds are known as a flock – such as a flock of seagulls? Shouldn't it be called an annoyance of seagulls? How about an army of ants – is it because they are much organised, and resemble a hard working group of soldiers? Another couple – a pride of lions, a pod of dolphins, and a gaggle of geese – all very odd, I think.

I did another night Sunday night in Mandurah. It was a busy night, and we didn't get much down time. What takes most of the time is the transfers from the local hospital, who handball (another Aussie euphemism for passing the buck, or passing responsibility of something to someone else – comes from Aussie Rules Football which calls a pass from one player to another a handball) any seriously ill patient to the bigger hospitals up in the city – about 50 miles away. It would be something to think about if you were going to live down here.

Anyway one of the people we were asked to take up the road was particularly unwell, and was going to be put unconscious with medication, and their breathing was going to be done on a ventilator. Anyway the medications were sorted out, and then the patient was then knocked out, and the doctor tried to put the tube for the patient to breath into the their lungs. This is not a really tricky procedure (called intubation), but in hospitals only doctor can do the procedure.

Anyway, after the medications are given, there really can't be much delay before a patient should be attached to the ventilator, but the doctor trying to do the procedure was really struggling to complete it. After a couple attempts, I offered to have a go (as a paramedic I've been trained in the procedure, and carry it out outside of hospital, on my own – sometimes hanging upside down in a ditch with water running down my neck – not the sterile hospital setting with 3 or 4 nurses to assist – that this doctor was trying to do it in). I don't like to brag, or blow my own trumpet, but I managed the procedure on the first attempt.

Anyway once we got to the hospital up in the city and unloaded the patient in the intensive therapy unit, and went back to the ambulance, where there were 4 or 5 other ambulance crews standing around chatting. Remember that normally in Mandurah I am working with volunteers who actually want to work, and do the job for nothing (well almost, they get paid a retainer for coming in to work of $25, which is what I'm paid for an hour's work).

The other guys all were moaning and grumbling about St. Johns, and the work, and the hours, and blah blah blah. I'm not really interested, as I enjoy my job, and am really happy doing it every day. That is why I'm enjoying working with the volunteers, because they want to be there also. That brings me to what do you call a group of ambulance paramedics. After tonight, I think that maybe a grumble of paramedics, or a moan of paramedics.