Friday - Sunday - Songs about Jane and Sizzler

Before anyone had come out to visit, I'd planned a surprise for the lovely Mrs. Marmite (that is what my friend Mark had taken to calling Jane). Maroon 5 were having a concert down in town, and I'd bought Jane and I tickets to go and see them.

Before we went to the concert, I had taken everyone out to see if we could see some Kangaroos, and ride on a train it a place called Whitemans Park. We had to drag Daisy away from the Kid's Play area (this one was huge) eventually, but when we found the train, it wasn't running on a Friday. Oh well, there was a tram there as well, and we went on that instead. (Daisy thought it was a train anyway.)

We did see a couple Kangaroos, although they weren't bouncing around. I had to bribe Daisy to come back home with use - with a trip to the beach to make sand castles. We had to leave early, as the house were are staying in was having a washing machine delivered.

No one said anything about the beach, until Jane and I were talking about getting ready to go out, and then we were reminded of my promise. Daisy and I nipped down to the local beach and built castles in the sand for a while, until she got soaked with a wave. It was perfect timing, as I had to go back to get ready anyway.

Maroon 5 were very good, although the concert was cut short because the keyboard player managed to knock over all his keyboards off the plinth that they were on. At the end of the concert, the main guy who was doing the singing, and playing the guitar, must of thought that he was something out of The Who, and smashed up his guitar as well.

Saturday - Swimming in the local pool, and then afternnon BBQ at the house with some friends (No Photos sorry)

Sunday - After morning coffee with Alan and Emma, it was church, and then to Sizzlers for Sunday Lunch. We popped around to see Jamie and Julie, and then I had to head back, as I had to go to work tonight.

Monday - Thursday - Jane Visiting

It was great to see everyone when they arrived off the plane on Monday night. The flight was about 1 hour late, but we still got back to the house in excellent time, and the effects of jet lag hadn't start to make itself known on anyone yet.

Daisy went to bed at a sensible time, and slept all night, just like the rest of us. I felt like I had just flown on an 18 hour flight also, as I hadn't had much sleep the night before, and was rushing around very busy the whole day.

During the week we have been very busy. I won't describe everything that we did. Like when we were skiing

Tuesday - King's Park for a picnic

Wednesday - Aquarium and Beach

Thursday - Picnic Barbeque in Park and Late Shopping for Jane and Mum

That was a quick round up!!!

Home is where the heart is

Here is a couple photos of the house that we are borrowing while everyone is out visiting me. It is in a very nice part of town called Kinross. That is about 30 minutes north of the main city of Perth itself.

Perth is made up in squares pretty much, and each square is called a suburb. Each suburb has a couple of shopping areas, a couple of schools, and some park land. It makes even the most run down areas look quite reasonable.


Kinross is a mini England, with almost everyone who I have met here so far predominately English. Most of the Aussies live closer to the city, or down south of the Swan River.


As you can see from the photos, we have made ourselves at home, and can picture ourselves living in the house here. The kitchen is very similar to the one in the house in Shannon Close, even down to some of the pots and pans are identical to the ones that I have left behind in England.

There are 4 bedrooms, with one of them having an on-suite bathroom attached to it. There are also 2 living rooms and a large dining room. It is pretty much a typical Aussie home. People don't use the front lounge much.




It is just what we need for the three weeks that we will be using it. It is a relief to be out of the flea pit in Innaloo, although, I'm still at a loose end after Jane and Daisy and Analiese go back to England.

Monday – Moving, No More Crazy Landlady, Hooray

It is now Saturday that I am writing this, but there are a couple things that stick in my head from Monday. I'll give you a quick run through.

It was great that I was able to pick the keys to the house that all of us are going to stay in right after I finished work. I dropped off a car load of things that I had packed the other day in the house. I had initially planned to leave them in my car for a couple days, while I was borrowing a big car to pick up the girls at the airport, but now, as always it seems, everything was working out quite simply. I guess that is what happens when you don't over plan, or worry about anything. Everything seemed to fall into place.

When I got the car (a very big car for picking up the girls from the airport) I thought I had time to pack up my room, and clean the house, before Sally arrived, as she had arranged to come down at 1100.

Guess what – it didn't happen!!!

As I backed the car down the driveway, all I was greeted with was a shrill rant about keys, and stuff being left, and why someone else had left some thing – (it never ended, as you could imagine with Sally). I stepped out the car and said "Good Morning", but that didn't even pause the onslaught. None of the verbal onslaught was actually aimed at me, except of one. I was supposed to have collected some keys off Mark, when he moved out the day before, but as he was still there when I went to work, he said he would leave them on the table, and forgot.

Well, you would have thought I had lost the only set of keys to the Crown Jewels, instead of 1 bedroom door key that there are copies of, and a front door key, but she was changing the locks anyway, so I didn't see the problem. After listening to about 1 hour of "keys, Mark is a terrible man, Hagen said he would do this, and hasn't, and on, and on, and on." I'd had enough.

Finally I said "Listen Sally, I've asked you a lot of times not to include me in your argument with Mark. I like the guy, and you upset me constantly telling me how horrible he is. It is my fault about not getting the keys (it wasn't, it was a genuine mistake), and I'm sorry. I've been awake all night, and I am very tired, just leave me alone to move out in peace. You will get your money for the last two days, and yes, I will make sure the floor is moped, and the dishes (only 1 mug and 1 plate) are all washed and put away."

Finally I was gone. It was a relief.

After unpacking my stuff at the new house, and stocking up the cupboards, it was time to go to the airport to pick up the girls, and start a new chapter in our life as a family of Heaths.

Friday to Sunday – All work, and I was a dull boy!!

I'm breezing over what happened over the last couple days, as I was very excited about Daisy, and Analiese, and Mum, and Jane coming out to visit. I did a day shift of Friday, and then nights on Saturday and Sunday. As well as work, I had to pack my room, and get ready to move out.

Hagen had gone, which was great, and Mark was packing, and then moved out. There were some dramas, but nothing really very drastic. Sally (crazy landlady) and Mark (the Aussie) had a few ding dongs, but I wasn't really interested by this point.

Work was the usual mix of transfers, and regular calls. Nothing was too bad. Even got chance for a short sleep both nights!

Thursday – The Art of Conversation

I don't know which I am more excited about. The Hoff has announced that he is moving today!!! I will be at work while he is moving out, and so I'll have to shed a small tear that I won't be there to see him off, and shut the door behind him. It is either that, or me moving out on Monday. As the day gets closer, I can hardly contain myself. There is a lot on the schedule on Monday morning, but it is what I am thinking about every day.

I did go to work today, and it was a pretty mundane sort of day. Just the usual weekday, and we finished on time, which is a bonus. Being Easter, it is a long weekend here, and everyone was out and about getting last minute shopping/food, as almost all the shops and supermarkets will be closed until Tuesday Morning. Easter is not a commercial venture here; it is a time to spend with your family. It won't be long before they are here with me.

Today was also the start of the AFL (Australian Football League) – otherwise known as Aussie Rules football. I was quite excited as I haven't really watched a game, and don't understand the rules, but am willing to learn. The local teams here cause a lot of strong feelings, either for one side or the other. I have been educated that there are the West Coast Eagles, and the Fremantle Dockers, and they both play their home games at the same ground. If you live north of the Swan River then you are supposed to be an Eagle's fan, and if you live south of the river, you are supposed to be a Dockers fan.

As the Eagles have been a very winning team, I think I'll be supporting them. It gives me something to talk to all the Aussies about anyway.

Anyway, after work, I settled down to watch the game with a couple beers, and a pizza, the Hoff arrives home and says that he will join me watching the game. I thought that would be alright, until he started asking me about every play, and the rules, and the tactics, and who are the teams playing, and the players. Very hard to keep saying "I don't know, this is the first game I've ever watched!" to every question. He still kept asking me, without listening to my answers. The only time he actually was quiet was when there where TV advertisements on. (That would have been the time to ask me questions I would have said).

The art of conversation was dead, as all he did was ask questions, and didn't really want to know the answer, and didn't listen to my answer.

I didn't stay up and make polite conversation with him once the game was finished, only because there isn't any point in trying to talk to someone who doesn't listen. My little pep talk (about his language and attitude towards other people) the other day was completely forgotten. He's gone on Friday. Great!!!

Wednesday - Packing and Posting

I thought that I had better get my stuff organized and get everything ready for the grand move out on next Monday. Looking around my room, I thought I have accumulated an aweful lot of rubbish, since arriving in Perth in January.

I know that I am a little bit of a horder, and so I thought, I arrived here with one suitcase, and had two boxes of things sent out, so I must be able to pack up into that amount of luggage. Then I started to list what I had managed to acquire since arriving - car (don't need to worry about packing that into a box), DVD player (only very small), Printer (I've kept its box), and an armload of uniform (I've just ordered more, as the trousers no longer fit me - miles too big now, as the wieght has been falling off me), bedding, and a fan.

That will all fit into the car, so after packing up everything, I was pleased with myself. It only took about 30 minutes, and I threw out loads of paperwork. The room looks like a transit lounge now, with boxes and suitcases everywhere. It will be good for Monday to come around, and I'll be able to get them to the new house.

After that, I thought, I haven't been keeping in touch with a lot of people, so I wrote, and published a couple of days worth of entries onto the blog.

Thursday is the start of my shifts, and so I did have some other things to take care of - ironing shirts etc. very mundane.

So everything is a lot calmer at the house. I am looking forward to Monday, when the family arrives. I will unpack, but I'm not sure about the daily posting. I'll try to stick a lot of photo's on the web site though

Tuesday – Upsetting the Routine

Isn't it funny that even half and hour can upset someone's routine so much. I would hate to be in such a position that I knew that every day I had to get up at such and such time, and be out the door at such and such a time, and get to work at such and such a time. I know that a lot of people prefer that sort of structure in their life, and for them 9-5/8-4 every day is great. But me, it's no good.

Anyway, let me tell you how come I got to that thought. Well – actually I think I'll come to how come I upset the routine later. Anyway, I was working this morning, and had to be up earlier than I normally do before work, as I was working about 30 miles away, right down south in a place called Rockingham today. Anyway, I was up about ½ hour earlier than I rise when I'm on a day shift.

I showered, and trundled off to work. It was another easy shift, with only 3 calls (one of which was a hospital to hospital transfer) and I was driving the ambulance all day as well. We managed to finish on time, and I got home about 8 in the evening. I didn't think much about it at all.

When I got home, one of the guys was there. It was the Hoff, looking like there was something on his mind. Eventually he told me what was up. I had upset his routine, because I got up early and was in the bathroom showering, ready for work, when he wanted to use it, and because I was in there for 5 minutes, he ended up late for work – because of me. I don't think so, and now he was starting to annoy me. I tried to explain that I only get up early 2 days every 8, and I haven't heard him say anything about it, as he is usually still sitting around drinking coffee when I go to work, so how did I know he had a finally tuned plan.

Anyway, later that night, he came out with something else, and I finally had enough of his foul mouthed racism, and told him so. I ended up spelling out some home truths about what I thought of him, and give the Hoff his due, he sat and listened. (I think he was too scared to speak after I told him to keep his "great big foul mouth firmly shut")

All friends at the end of the night though. Mark (the other fella) had come home and filled the Hoff in about some other things that he shouldn't be doing either. I hope he listened and took on board what was said to him. I don't think so.

Anyway it doesn't matter, because I'm out of here in a couple days to move into the holiday house with Jane, Daisy, Analiese, and Mum. I can't believe that was all over me getting up 30 minutes earlier than normal.

Monday – All becomes Clear Now

Not much really occurred today. It wasn't roasting hot. I spent some time out and about, in the shops, but only reading in a coffee shop.

When I came back in the afternoon, Mark was home from work early. We sat and had a good old chinwag again, as something was really bothering him.

Mark was very worried about where he was going to live. I'm quite relaxed as next week I'm going to be staying in a holiday home for three weeks, because Jane, Daisy, Analiese, and Mum are coming out to see me, and Perth. Both of us mentioned that it seemed strange that Hagen didn't seem that bothered. It all became clear though.

Sally rang me to discuss whether I think she had made the right decision about selling the house. I know that I make jokes at her expense, but she isn't really a bad egg. While talking to her, she told me that Hagen had asked if he could stay on at the house after we left. When I told Mark (who was hoping that Hagen would go halves with him for rent) both of us suddenly realized why he wasn't that bothered about next week.

Sally has said that no one is going to be staying, and I believe her, so we won't say anything, and see how that part of the story pans out. Later Sally called back and asked me to pass the message along to Hagen, because he never answers his phone to her, and she couldn't get him the message. Fortunately, just at that moment, in walked Hagen, so I handed him the phone. (I was getting tired of covering for him, and saying I didn't know where he was).

Hagen's face was a picture while he was talking to her, and as Mark and I both knew what she was telling him. When he eventually stopped looking sheepish, as he realized that both of us knew he had been trying to pull a fast one on us, he started to look worried about finding somewhere to stay.

As I was looking for something to do with all my days off, I rang up work on the off chance there was some overtime going. Tuesday I arranged to work in Rockingham (about 40 km south of where I live). It would be an 8 AM start, and would mean I'd have to battle the rush hour traffic for a while, going into Perth itself, so I took myself off to bed early.

 

Sunday – A day of Rest

Saturday night was not too awful, but there was a lot of work, and not much down time at the ambulance station. We didn't manage to finish on time, and to top it off the route home (well, not all of them, only the easiest one) was closed due to a bike race.

It took some negotiating around the freeway because one whole carriageway was closed. There was some sort of charity bike ride going on from right down in the south of the city, all the way along to the very north of the freeway. I eventually arrived home, and dropped into my bed for some much needed sleep about 10:30 in the morning.

I had a lot of restful sleep, but when I woke up, Sally was here (I wonder why I actually woke up) to start making plans for everyone to move out. I don't think that Mark is actually aware that he brought on the hasty sale of the house, and sort of stuffed it up for everyone else her. Although, saying that, he is actually looking for somewhere else to live, unlike Hagen (the Hoff), who is just merrily drinking his way into oblivion.

After Sally left, the three of us got down to the serious business of the afternoon. It was Formula One race in Melbourne, and was on telly, so we sat outside, discussed what we all were planning for next week, and watched the race.

I was still quite tired, and Hagen's racial slurs started to really get under my skin. (With him being both a German and living in South Africa for a long time, you can picture the venom with which he talks about anyone who isn't a tall blond haired white person). I (unusually) didn't react, and just kept quiet. It ruined his fun, as he never got a rise out of either Mark or me, so Hagen took himself off to the pub for the rest of the afternoon.

It was blessed relief.

I heard from Jane, and she was making a roast dinner for a load of people. I was her technical advisor, and I hope that it all worked out alright. It did sound a lot yummier than the pasta that I rustled up.

It was nice to have some days off. I wonder what the rest of them hold in store for me!

Saturday – Like Friday only not as bad

Another night to look forward to was coming up. I had hardly had a load of rest during the night shift on Friday, and after getting home, I remembered that the house was going to be subject to an open house during the afternoon. Exactly what I didn't need, when I was so tired. Still who am I to complain – much anyway?

At least today Sally and her cleaning posse did keep the noise down, and didn't wake me until about 1330 (1/2 hour before the open house). My room was quite tidy anyway, do I went out to the local mall, and sat in a coffee shop for a couple hours while waiting for the house to be empty, before returning to get ready for work.

I think what was making me really grumpy yesterday was that I was coming down with something, but I did manage to use some of my time wisely in the mall, and I now own about as much medicine as most chemists.

Night's were going to be easier than the Friday night, I thought, as my partner had informed me that he wasn't particularly feeling well, and not coming to work tonight.

Eventually someone did show up at the ambulance depot for me to work with. We were quite busy up until about 2 (8 hours into out 14 hour shift) in the morning, when the work started to quite down, and we headed back to the depot for some well deserved (in my eyes anyway) sleep.

Friday – Nights

It was Friday again. My, how time seems to fly when you are having fun? So far I've only done 1 Friday night shift, and that was last week, with loads of time back on the depot. I wasn't sure that was a true reflection of what was in store for me this evening.

I just messed around during the day, trying to relax and rest. It wasn't particularly warm out (between 25-30 degrees), and so although I went to the sea front, I didn't disrobe for the world to see my rippling biceps and bulging hamstrings. (I woke up then, and realized the only thing that ripples on me is my tummy, and it is about the only thing that bulges at the moment as well!) The waves were massive, and there were some people setting up another sort of event.

There seems to be things on at the beach most weekends and this event was another surf life saving championships, but this time it wasn't for kids, it was for adults. It is going to be quite intense down on the beach over the weekend. I may come down

Anyway I did eventually go to work, and really the quality of the jobs was very poor. Mostly people who didn't have anyone to talk to, and thought that a hospital would be a nice place to spend the evening. The most common answer to the question "Have you seen a doctor about your ________ (fill in the blank with any minor complain/ailment) that you've had for the last ___ (anywhere between 3 days and 14 months) before calling me?" is "I didn't want to bother them for something like this" – said all singsong moaning, hardly any effort put into the words.

I can't be bothered with people who haven't tried to help themselves before wasting my time at 4 in the morning for some minor ailment that neither needs hospital, or if they did need hospital, they definitely don't need an ambulance. "What is wrong with the 4 cars in the driveway? Can nobody drive you to the hospital to look after your sunburn??"

If you have tried to look after yourself, and done as instructed by the GP's, I don't mind at all, and will help you with anything.

Anyway – dealing with that sort of malingerer all night (7 non-urgent cases out of 9 jobs) I had had enough. At least I'll be able to sleep the day away.

The night certainly dragged. What was I saying about time flying when you have fun? It definitely wasn't fun!!!!!

Thursday – Only good news for a change

A bit like Wednesday – not really much happened. The ambulance station is being painted (by some definite cowboys – how can they call themselves painters, I could do a better job, and I am no good at it). The fumes from the paint made it really unpleasant on base and my crewmate and I thought about asking if we could be moved to another base.

We only discussed it between ourselves, but we enjoy being in the black hole of ambulances so we put up with the fumes.

Our first job wasn't until 11:30 or 12:00. Typical, as it was when I had decided to make some toast for lunch. Oh well. After we were out and about, we didn't really ever get back until the end of the shift. As a matter of fact (owing to the traffic, and the time we got the jobs) we didn't finish for 2 hours after shift time.

Those guys who are in the ambulance service wonder how you could possible make two hours. Well we do like to push the over runs out as it is very financially lucrative. If we are over time by 1 hour, we get a meal allowance (about $15) as well as being paid double time ($50 an hour). That was all good there then.

I was taken aside by my team leader and given an official looking letter, and asked to read it. As it turned out, it was an assessment about whether I should carry on being on probation, and whether I should be recommended for permanent residency. He asked me what I thought – "No more probation and definite permanent residency" was my reply. It was all very light-hearted, but when the team leader got serious, he did say that he had only heard good reports about my work, and I am an asset to St. John's Ambulance Service here.

I know he says that to everyone, but it is nice to have your ego massaged. Anyway, I have had my probation period finished, and I'm being recommended to be allowed to apply for permanent residency when the time comes up.

So when all said and done, all the news today was good for me. I slept well.

Wednesday – Short and Sweet

Life is such a routine now on days that I do to work that I couldn't find anything to tell you about Wednesday. I am scratching my head to find a view on the local politics. There is no reason to complain or comment about the weather – it is about the same as every other day. I didn't get any annoying phone calls from the wacky land lady Sally, so really I haven't got anything to write, but here goes anyway.

Today was a work day again. I got to work on time. We sat around until about 11 am, when we got our first job. After leaving her at home, we came back to the depot, until about 3, when we went to another job. We ran the old boy into a local respite centre at the request of a doctor, which avoided us having to drive into Perth itself.

We finished on time, and I went home to watch some TV, and go to bed. Wednesday – done and dusted. Maybe I should go to the beach, but as it is getting darker earlier, it isn't as possible after work, unless I am super organized.

I don't think that'll happen anytime soon.

 

 

Tuesday – Is it a tax fiddle?

I don't understand how it is possible. I've set up a legalized tax fiddle that is allowed under federal law over here. I'll explain how it works, and then you'll wonder how it is possible. I'm not completely sure that I understand completely the whys and wherefores, but here are the bare bones.

I've agreed – for a small fee every fortnight (we are paid fortnightly) to have chunk of my wages taken out of the account before it is taxed. This money then is put into an account andz I'm able to access it using a dedicated visa card to pay for living expenses (food, fuel, and anything else that I want, if the company accepts Visa card).

If you want numbers where is some as best as I can explain. Each fortnight before my pay is put into the bank, $350 is moved to the other account, before tax. Then the amount of taxable pay I receive is a smaller amount, and so is taxed a lot less. Two days later the $350 arrives in the other account, and I'm able to use it for living expenses. It works out to about $100 for fortnight more in real terms than before.

Now the why – because of the lack of workers in the public sector, the government has offered a large tax break to those companies to try and keep their staff. I still don't really understand it, but I'm allowed to "package" about $10,000 per year. This doesn't count the tax-breaks on car payments (if I had them), private health insurance (I'm already getting a large tax break on that (it is mandatory for foreign workers to have Private Health Insurance)– being a public sector worker), and a load of other things.

Later today I'm off out for dinner at a friend's house. It is Jamie and Julie, up in Sorrento. I have always had good food there, and a load of fun, and I don't think that tonight will be any different.

Monday - Was this shop built by idiots

Sometimes I wonder what goes through people’s heads. Let me tell you why! I was in a shop today, and for the life of me I can’t understand why there was a door where it was. I’ll get to that bit in a moment, and how I came to be in a shop with a doorway that leads to nowhere.

I was on a day off again today, and so after recovering my car (I couldn’t find it at first, and thought it had been towed away). It wasn’t on the street that I walked up and down looking for it. As it turns out I needed to turn left, and then left again out of the pub to the street I left it on, and not right and right again. You can imagine my chagrin when I eventually found the car. Lucky I never called the police to report it missing/stolen.

Once I found it (very relieved) I headed home – so I thought. Because the car wasn’t parked where I thought it was, and I don’t really know my way around very well, I was actually driving away from my house, not towards it. I was really doing a very good impression of Homer Simpson this morning.

Anyway, once I figured out my mistake I turned and headed the right direction. Because I had some time on my hands, I thought that I would go into the local DIY shop, Bunnings Warehouse. If you think of B&Q cross it with a large garden centre, you are about there for the size of this Bunnings. I didn’t need anything from there; it is just I like to look at all the stuff. I’d never been in this one before.

While browsing in store, at the end of one of the aisles I came upon this door, with a warning sign saying it was alarmed, and it was a fire door. It was a glass door, and when I looked through it, I could see the rest of Bunnings through the glass. “Very Strange!” I thought to myself.

I walked to the other end of the aisle, and up the next on, and at the end of the aisle, there was the other side of this door, but without any handles, or warnings on it. I guess that you can only go through it one direction.

So there was this fire door in the middle of a large warehouse that leads to the middle of a large warehouse, and nothing above it, or either side of it. No it wasn’t for sale. Very strange!!!

Sunday - It was a Sunday Session

After the stress of yesterday, I thought that I did need a relaxing day, not falling out with anyone, or even crossing swords with anyone. Too Easy (more Aussie slang) I thought, there are a couple things that I’ll do today.

I was up quite early, and though “Hmmm, Sunday – I think I deserve something special for brekkie”. I sat and had a large buffet breakfast, and took my time over it. Let me see, off the top of my head it was fresh fruit, bacon sausages, and eggs, pancakes, and syrup, some more fruit, and finished off with a small bowl of cereal. All of that lot was washed down with a large amount of coffee, and juice. Just what the doctor ordered I think.

I trundled off to church, and then remembered afterwards (actually it was during the service) that there was some beach volleyball competition on. I had watched some of it the day before, but today was the semi finals and finals of the men and the women’s competition. I drove down to where it was taking place.

The place is Scarborough Beach, and there is a mini stadium that has been built there, with a large semicircular seating area, with the beach just in front. I watched the ladies finals, and then the men’s finals. It was great.

I returned home, and got ready to go out. The guys from the ambulance shift that I work on had arranged to meet up in town at a local hotel for the afternoon.

I did pop down, and we all had a lot of fun. It was exactly what I needed. No one was asking me anything too technical, or ordering me around. In fact the only ordering was done at the bar! I got in about 9 in the evening. I couldn’t even remember where I left my car (there wasn’t much parking space nearby the hotel).

Saturday – The Beach isn’t only for swimming

It was a lot quieter night last night, and that was a much needed relief after the hard night previously. I got about 2 – 3 hours on base through the night (it was a Friday Night after all) and couldn't wait to fall into bed in the morning.

There wasn't going to be much rest, because the crazy landlady has finally gone and done it. She was having an open house for potential buyers at 2 pm, which I didn't really need, as I wanted sleep. She came bursting in and knocking on the door – "David, you need to get up and clean your room!"

Those of you who know me will know that waking me up from my beauty sleep is never a good idea. "If you want my room cleaner than it is (I had actually cleaned it on Friday, and polished and dusted, and changed the sheets etc.) you clean it! I asked you not to wake me up, after my night shift!" I replied.

I know that it isn't the way you should speak to people, but I was very tired, and Sally doesn't actually listen to anything anyone says anyway, and I had told her the room was spotless, and I wouldn't be there when the open house was on.

Anyway, down to the beach I went. To my surprise there was a lot of people there, and a lot of activities going on. One of the events was Western Australian State Surf Life-saving Championships. I think it is a precursor to the National Championships that are happening in a couple weeks.

It is very interesting sport, with the competitors having to do running, swimming, paddling on a surfboard, and rowing an ocean kayak over a big course both on the beach and in the big waves of the water. As an avid watcher of sports, I was fascinated.

I had a snooze in the shade enjoying the sunshine, and the life-saving when my reverie was interrupted by the insistent ringing of my phone. It was Sally again "David – where is your rent money?" (I don't owe any rent this week, as I have already paid for a month 2 weeks ago.)

"Just leave me alone" I wanted to say, but kept my cool, and politely explained (again) that I pay her monthly, and I don't know what agreements she has with others, and no (again) I don't know when Hagen is going to pay her, and no (again) I will not pass her messages to everyone, because she needs to speak to them, and no (again) I am not off duty next weekend, and I am on nights, and would appreciate it if she didn't have an open house next Saturday.

It was very trying today. I don't know where I will live, but I can't wait to get out of here.

Friday – Last Night was Horrible

Thursday Night wasn't very pleasant. The last job of the night involved another young guy who ended up very dead, with most of his red stuff outside of his body, and not in it, where it should have been.

I'm getting a bit of a reputation here as a Jonah (someone who gets all the bad/nasty jobs). I studiously avoided that title in Hove, but it seems that it's my turn to be the blade of the Grim Reapers scythe at the moment.

I won't describe the incident, but it was an industrial accident in a furniture makers shop, and the young lad is sadly no longer with us.

Every official agency and busybody (police, health and safety investigators, coroner's officers, forensic teams) all wanted to discuss what we did, and when we did it, before we could leave. The only good thing about that was that the coroner's officers and forensics team (no they didn't have tabards that say CSI, it says FORENSICS instead – and they took loads of photos) had to transport the person, and so the ambulance stayed nice and clean. I can't say the same for my uniform, which has ended up in the bin.

With having to give loads of statements to anyone who asked, and staying at the scene, until we were released, meant that although I was only supposed to work until 8 am, I didn't get home until about 1130. I still had to come into work that evening, only a little later. It was a good thing that I had managed to sleep (Up until the job) for about 5 hours uninterrupted.

So the moral of last night's story is as follows:

1. Red stuff is good in the body, and bad outside.
   
2. There is going to be a lot of cheap MDF available soon
   
3. I must try harder to avoid the serious jobs.
   

Sadly no photo's today, because I don't think you would have liked to see what I saw.

Oh, and before work again that evening I met a couple of friends in a beach front cafe The Wild Fig for coffee and cake. That was nice, and they understood what happened, as they are both paramedics and both from Hove as well. (They are aware of how hard it is to shake the tag of being a Jonah).

When I did get to work in the evening, the ambulance service chaplain was at the depot, just to check that we were both alright. That is a nice touch.

Thursday – Immigration is done

Well, 2 months and a couple days after I arrived, I've finally managed to log visa applications for Jane, Daisy and Analiese. It has been a lot of emails, and sending back and forth of all the paperwork that we need. Hopefully it is all straight forward from now. If it is like any other thing in Australia, it won't be completely straight forward.

I was going to get my glorious locks shaved from my head, but I passed on that when there was a long wait at the cheap barber shops, and I am not in the latest Forbes Rich list, so I think I'll get it done some other day.

I thought that I would update you on what autumn weather is like. Today was the first time (except for going to work) that I put on Jeans/Long trousers. The reason that I actually wore them was because I was going to a very posh building to lodge the immigration forms, and I don't want to look like a yokel.

On the radio today, there was a weather forecast for the capital cities in Australia. It must be the first time that I have heard another city in Australia with a higher temperature than Perth. Adelaide was giving temperature as 35 degrees, and Perth's was only a cool 29. What a relief.

Listening to the BBC radio, I hear that in the UK everyone is struggling with icy roads, and freezing temperatures. Hopefully, you aren't to green reading about my constant moaning about high temperatures.

Update on the housing situation - the landlady isn't taking the hint that I want to be left out of her disagreement with the other tenants. I am going to have to get a little more direct if it keeps up, and say "Leave me alone, I'm not staying!"

I'm going to have to get ready for work, so I'll have to leave today's update brief.

Wednesday – Mixed News

I was at work on time. Today my crewmate was almost late though. That hasn't mattered really, because it is now 12 o'clock, and we still haven't started the ambulance yet, let alone answered a call.

Last night Sally (the eccentric landlady) called and told me that she was going to have an open house on Saturday morning. After looking at my diary, I realized that I would like to be sleeping on Saturday morning (don't we all) especially after a night shift (Friday nights must be the same the world over). Not good, but it is her house, so who am I to complain.

Also in the course of the discussion, I did ask if that while Jane and Mum were over, and I had to pay rent another place, could I have some money off my rent. Cheeky I know, but if you don't ask you don't get. Anyway, she said no.

After a long period of though about the whole situation (about 3 minutes – have you ever noticed when it is the right thing to do, the decision is easy to make straight way) I decided what to do. I called Sally back and told her I will be moving out as soon as feasible possible (realistically, although I didn't tell her, it will be when everyone arrives at Easter).

As you know, she thinks I'm all right, and the other two fellows in the house are the ones who have been causing trouble. She was saying to me "What if I don't charge you rent while Jane is here" and "How about if the sale of the house is by appointment only?" (I had said that I am going to find it hard to sleep during the day with people traipsing around the house, if I had been on nights.)

All very nice offers but she wants to sell the house, and I am really not terribly happy living there anymore. I seem to be the only one who does tidy up (am I being paranoid) and mop/vacuum the floors, clean the bathroom/kitchen, and generally look after the place. The other two had said last night "If Sally wants to sell the house, then she needs to come and clean it herself."

They couldn't see the point that we live there, and it should be tidy/presentable anyway, and it doesn't take much to mop the floor/do the washing up – yes I know, all things that I am not particularly good at myself, but I do try.

This has been getting me down a little, so I think it is best if I am gone. It's only 2 ½ weeks left, so I'll put up with it.

So what was the good news I hear you ask? Well, Jane and my plans about her moving out here to live permanently are starting to gel. I have asked for some leave in July to fly back to the UK to pack up the house, ship out our goods, and then fly back with everyone. Get your requests in early if you want to visit us/us to visit you, as I'll be very busy I feel.

I hope Sally isn't to upset – actually, I'm not that bothered either way – but I know that Jane will be happy that the plans are in place for coming out. Now all I need is her visa in place. I'll get that going tomorrow.

Tuesday – Is it being lazy pausing before pressing Snooze the second time?

Have you ever noticed, if you are late, everything seems to conspire against you? It was the case this morning.

It was a rare occasion I know, but I actually had to go to work! What have I come to Australia for? I had set the trusty alarm clock (remember the dramas during training school with being late because of my mobile phone alarm) for 0630, in time to get out to the desert for about 0740, ready for an 8 am start.

I think the v. large meal (of salad I hastily add) and all that pondering about why last night must have really tired me out. The alarm woke me at 0630, as it should. I thought, "I'm awake now, I'll turn the alarm off after one go on the snooze button!" and with that turned the alarm off.

The next thing I know it was 0720 and I was still lying in my cosy little pit without a care in the world. Then the realization hit – I had 40 minutes to get up, get ready for work, and drive the 20 minutes it takes to get to Landsdale, once there iron my work shirt, and check the ambulance all in time for a prompt 8 am start. It wasn't going to happen.

After I finished getting ready = cold shower as well, because I couldn't wait the requisite 3 minutes for the hot water to run through (looking like Freddy Kruger had shaved me) all I could do in the car was endure the traffic. Where had everyone come from all of a sudden? Why can no one drive sensibly yet?

I did get to work right on the stroke of 8 am (not late really), but without any breakfast, or my much needed gallon of coffee. Luckily, I had picked up a carton of iced coffee out of the fridge before I left home, so I didn't feel too hard done by.

Moreover, work only entailed two jobs all day, so I was reasonably relaxed when I went home. Great this lark isn't it.

I think that tomorrow when I get up, I'll not turn the alarm off until I am vertical and feeling good. I bet that if I am not running late, there will be no one on the road, and there will be hot water instantly, and the little razor cuts will have healed up nicely, and …

We live and learn.

Monday – Does anyone know the answers?

It is holiday time today. It is very strange that in Western Australia and Perth Labour day weekend is a different weekend holiday to other parts of Australia. I have asked around and there doesn't seem to be anyone who knows the reasons why. That goes down into the long list of why that I don't have an answer for:

1. Why is there a national holiday that isn't national across the country?
2. Why is the Queen's Birthday a different day in Western Australia to everywhere else?
3. Why is there a Daylight Savings Time trial, when all the voters said not to have one?
4. Why do Aussie's shorten all words to silly abbreviations?
5. Why is it still 35 degrees in the autumn?

These are only a few of the questions that I would like to have answered, but don't think I will. Anyway, it was a holiday here, and the sun was shining. It didn't take long to work out what I should do with the day.

After replying to some correspondence (that took until about three in the afternoon – I wasn't really trying to hard) and answering the request for the recipe for my Sticky Spare Rib recipe, and my Spicy Chicken Wings recipe (you can find both on the blog now); I packed up my bag, and headed to the beach. How could I resist?

In a couple weeks there is a big competition being held at Scarborough Beach (my nearest one) – Australian Surf Lifesaving National Championship. There were some of the competitors practicing just as I arrived. It was a great spectacle.

Just watching them exhausted me, and so I had a short snooze on the beach. That is always a bad idea in the heat. Even with SPF factor 30+ on, I did get a little lobster like after 3/4's of an hour. Time for a swim/play in the surf, but I did have to stay away from where the people were practicing. I didn't want them to mistake me for a rival.

The evening was quite uneventful. You will be pleased to know that I had a real result for my tea. I went to the local steak house chain (Sizzler), and had the all you can eat salad bar, and bottomless tea coffee and soft drinks, and as many bowls of ice cream as possible (I didn't actually have any steak) for $16.00 (about £8) for the lot. Do I need to say I did eat all I could?

The evening then passed with entertainment from Sly Stallone (not in one of his finer pieces of work). Rambo 4 is a little bit rubbish, and when people weren't being maimed, killed, dismembered, or generally blown up, the dialogue wasn't up to much, and the acting up to even less. Save your money!

That is another good question that no one will know the answer to; Sylvester – Why?????

Sticky Spare Ribs

Here is another recipe by popular demand for those who asked. Remember these are only guidelines.

Ingredients:
A whole lot of Spare Ribs (trim off the Cartilage, Sinew, and most of the Fat)
3 Bay leaves
Garlic Granules,
Salt and Pepper
Heinz BBQ Sauce
How to do it!

Trim the spare ribs, so that there isn't any of the cartilage or sinews on the end, and cut off the big chunks of fat that are all over the ribs. Don't worry about the smaller fat; it will all disappear during the cooking. Once you've trimmed the ribs, lay them in a deep baking tray with the bay leaves, garlic granules, and salt and pepper. You can stick in a crumbled chicken stock cube as well – I don't. Remember that salt will bring the flavour out, so don't leave it out, the actual finished dish will not be salty.

Cover the ribs and herbs and spices all with water (cold is alright) and then cover the roasting pan tightly with foil. Place this into a warm (120-150 degrees) oven for about 2-3 hours if possible. Top the water up if necessary. The long low cooking time will melt the remaining fat and sinews on the ribs, leaving only meat on the bones.

Once you've finished this, drain the water, and remove the bay leaves. Cover the ribs with BBQ sauce well, and leave them for a while. The ribs will suck the sauce into the meat, making them super juicy. You can do up to now in advance if you are pressed for time.

To finish them off, you can either grill them on a BBQ – remember to constantly baste them with BBQ sauce – if you want (they won't take long about 5 minutes each side) or in a warm oven (120-150 degrees) – cover them with more BBQ sauce – for about 10-15 minutes.

Get a lot of serviettes, and dig in.

Spicy Chicken Wings

For those of you who have asked here it is in all its simplicity.

Ingredients:

Chicken Wings (Trimmed into drum sticks, and the other bit, throwing away the very end)
Three Eggs (Beaten)
2 cups (250 g) Self Raising Flour (Self Raising Flour makes the batter crispier)
Pinch of Salt and Pepper (Add to the flour, it makes it taste better I promise)
One Sachet of Chilli Powder (You can use mild, but the hot is what I would recommend. It doesn't make the chicken very spicy)
Tabasco Sauce - Add a 1/4 teaspoon into the eggs when you beat them.
Oil (for deep frying)

For the Spicy David's Sauce (here's the simple bit)
2/3 cup (150 mls) Tomato Ketchup
1/3 cup (75 mls) Extra Hot Peri-Peri Sauce
1/3 cup (75 mls) Maple Syrup (Honey works, not as good) - makes the wings extra sticky - yummy

For the Mild Janey's Sauce
2/3 cup (150 mls) Tomato Ketchup
1/3 cup (75 mls) Caesars Salad Dressing (I've tried a lot of different things. This is about the best)
1/3 cup (75 mls) Maple Syrup

Heat the oil in a fryer/big saucepan.
Trim the wings. Beat the Eggs, and Tabasco Sauce (don't leave it out; even if you think you don't like the flavour/heat, it adds something to the wings flavour, without affecting your taste buds).
Mix the flour, and Chilli Powder (I always use hot chilli powder) and Salt and Pepper (don't leave the salt out (you wouldn't leave out the cement powder when you are building a house would you??) - it reacts with the flour to make a very crispy batter).
Coat the chicken in the eggs really well, and then dredge them through the flour until they are truly covering in batter.
Deep fry them, until the wings are golden brown and drain well on kitchen towel.
Put the wings onto a baking tray and place in the warm (150-180 degree) oven with the sauce over them for about 10-15 minutes. (You can fry the wings ahead of time, and just cover them in sauce in stick them in the over when you are ready to serve them. Don't put the sauce on to early, or put the wings in the fridge, as this will make the batter soggy)
Get a lot of serviettes and dig in!!!!

Sunday – Like Taking Candy from a Baby

Well, another glorious day for doing nothing. After working last night, I thought "Sunday, I might as well get a coffee on the way home, and read the newspaper," so I stopped at a local coffee shop/cafe, and ordered – breakfast as will (I hadn't eaten all night).

My phone rang, and it was Ambulance control offering me more overtime starting in about 1 hour. (The person hadn't consulted the computer to see that I was just finishing up after a night shift). As I said yesterday, there is as much overtime I need. Anyway I did have some plans to meet a couple of people in the afternoon anyway.

After a short rest at home, off I went to meet friends. On the menu were Fish and Chips in Fremantle for Sunday lunch. I met up with Kathryn and Eddie (from my training course) and Eddie's wife and little girl Niamh. It was excellent.

When we all went our separate ways, I went to a local sports bar, and watched the Cricket. While there I had some small wagers with a couple of the locals about the outcome of an individual over/who would be out next/winner of the game. It was quite easy to win an odd 50 cents off them each, as they (like all Australians) could not see that the Aussie cricket team wasn't performing as well as they could. India won the game at a canter.

So when I got home, and reflected on doing nothing, it was excellent. Oh and I was rung again by ambulance control for overtime Sunday night as well. I had had too much fun watching cricket and taking money off a couple suckers to go to work this evening.

Saturday – Kicking the Till and Making it Ring

I've really arrived into the St. John's Ambulance family now. It didn't really take long, and I am pleased that it's happened. Now I don't need to sit and wonder what I will do with my weekends off anymore. Not that I ever had trouble filling the hours in a day, especially at the weekend. (Hmm – let me think...beach, parks, shopping, cinema, and writing my blog, emails, and letters home, and sleeping; then when I get bored of all of that there is swimming, watching TV, and at the end of a very long list.....studying – don't they call it continual professional development now a days?)

Anyway, I digress; I got a call from Ambulance Control, offering me overtime for the Saturday night. Now you can see why I'll never be bored on a weekend, they have trouble filling the ambulances on weekend nights here as well. The shift was at a place called Kewdale. Overtime here is described as "kicking the till."

No, not everywhere there is ambulance (or should I say ambo) depots are in somewhere "dale", but there are a lot of them. So far, I'm at Landsdale, and now I'm working at Kewdale, and we went to a depot called Armadale to get some equipment this evening, but once more I am digressing.

As it turns out Kewdale is in another industrial area of town, but this one is down south. It slap bang (about 1 km away) at the end of the main runway at the airport, with the main freight rail yard behind it, and the end of the trans-Australian highway is right there. As you can imagine, it was a little noisy, what with planes taking off over our head, Thomas the Tank Engine shunting away in the yard all night, and big trucks all downshifting as they come off the highway, and start turning into their freight yards.

Enough with the complaining, you would think I wasn't grateful for the $50 per hour for the 14 hour night shift (Overtime is paid at double time), and anyway, it was supposed to be work, and not lounging around the ambulance station. Sure enough, it wasn't long before the first call came in.

The night wasn't too bad, for a weekend. The usual collection of drunken accidents, and incidents, and a hospital to hospital transfer. We did get about 4-5 hours on base (yes I did sleep, as you know, I could sleep through a hurricane, and actually once did – I was in the Bahamas when Hurricane Floyd (Category 5 Hurricane) blew through during the night.)

The only interesting thing to report was that one of the incidents in the cafe/club district Subiaco (Subi as it is known here, as the Aussies love to shorten a word that doesn't need shortening) was to assist the police treating someone who had been assaulted. It turns out the police had TV cameras with them (filming their version of Street Crime – called The Force). We may have a starring role on one of the episodes (I think you might be able to see my bottom a lot – and yes, there is a lot of that to see).

So I cannot complain about my day, although I probably will. I am a true Australian ambo now and it is expected to moan about everything. If I'm not moaning about work, I'm sure it will be about the heat, lack of waves, amount of emails to answer, the waves to big to swim in, it's too cold, only getting 5 hours sleep at work or any other number of things. We'll have to see.

 

Friday – Things are back to normal

After a quick rest in the morning after getting home, I had to get into the city to sort out Jane's immigration status. But alas another wasted journey. The Chamber of Commerce was closed. Why, besides being Friday afternoon? I don't know. I can speculate, as it is some kind of long weekend again (last on was at the end of January – Australia Day – Remember they didn't even get the right date for that). I think it must be the last week of February holiday weekend, or something. Or maybe it is a "Too long to wait until Easter in 3 weeks" holiday. But then there is ANZAC day soon, and that is a holiday. Actually the only thing I can really see on the calendar is Mothers Day on Sunday. Mothers deserve a holiday, so I guess things will be alright then.

Things after my failed trip into town turned into a usual day off for me. I went and with some friends, we went to the beach for a swim, and then – yep – a BBQ. I made prawns and sausages this time, and Deon and Madelyn had hamburgers and lamb chops. (We do like to diversify – can't have steak every time).
My secret plan worked and because I managed to stay out quite late, at Madelyn and Deon's house, everyone was in bed when I got home. I had some peace, and I didn't have to listen to everyone moan about everything, and them telling very tall tales.

At least it was business as usual this Friday. Beach and BBQ, what more can anyone ask for?

Thursday – Kangaroo Hunting

It was another scorcher. The radio mentioned something about the 40's, and I don't think that they are talking about how old I will be in about 6 years, or about the war. Anyway I didn't get much rest, so I thought, I'll cool off in the mall, so I jumped into my car (remember, not much change out of £750).

I was trundling off to the mall, and came upon the 300 sets of traffic lights (2 actually, but they both seem to last red for about 5 minutes) in the ½ mile between my house and the mall. I thought, "the car in front it really blowing a lot of smoke." Then I went to park in the car park, and saw that the smoke was coming from under the bonnet of my car. "ARRGGGHHHHH" was my first thought.

I looked under the bonnet, and there was smoke and small flames pouring out the air conditioning compressor. After a dose of fire extinguisher, do I need to say that I no longer have air conditioning in my car? I'll take it out, and get another compressor when I can get around to; in the meantime, no relief in the car anymore.

After a much needed long cold drink (a litre of iced coffee) and an ice cream, I went home and back to work for the next night. I delayed my shower until at the ambulance station, because that is got air con. I am also left my work shirts all there, and so I ironed one of them, and got ready in the cool. There is a lot to be said for air conditioning in doors. I'm definitely going to look for a house that has it.

Not much occurred during the night. We weren't as quiet as the night before, but we did get a long time on base (3 am until home time 8 am). That was excellent, and very relaxing. I wasn't tired up until about 3 anyway, as the jet lag from the UK is still rearing its large ugly head. Great if you are doing night shifts, but no fun most other times. At least from West to East is staying up late, not getting up early.

I saw my first wild Kangaroo during the night (and second one, and third one, and fourth, and fifth, and maybe my sixth one). You ask "How have you not seen any before and so many now?" Well that is a very good question. Although a lot of the signs on the road warn of kangaroos, they aren't often nearby.

This evening we got a call about 50 miles north of the city outskirts, and while we were going up there (out in the real bush) that is where we saw them, bouncing along, playing with traffic.

"What would warrant driving 50 miles in an ambulance to attend?" I hear you ask. Another good question, it was a lady how had been bitten (maybe, I'm not convinced) by an insect (not a red back spider) and she had a small red mark on her arm. Anyway $500 and another 50 miles later, she was happily ensconced in hospital.

I don't know how she is going to get back home, but that isn't really my problem. I hope that the bus that she will be travelling back on has air con, because it is going to be as hot again on Friday, and that the bus doesn't hit a kangaroo on the way home.